My firstborn asked me last night, "Are you gonna cry tomorrow, Mama?"
"What??" I said, "Why in the world would I cry tomorrow?"
"Because it's my last first day of school."
GULP!
I'm gonna be just fine if she'll quit calling my attention to all the "lasts."
I do not intend to go through this entire year blubbering.
I blubbered Friday though...because my firstborn is so excited about her upcoming independence that I find myself at times taking it personally.
What's so bad about home anyway?
Haven't we given her a roof over her head...
Clothes on her back...
A room of her own...literally as well as symbolically...
Gas in her car...
And most importantly...unconditional love?
Yes, we have.
I know that it's not personal.
I really do.
I want her to go...to spread her wings and fly...
I want her to experience the world...and see all that it has to offer...
She has so many options ahead of her and this is what we've prepared her for since the day she was born...leaving the nest...
Now, I'm blubbering again...my heart is racing...where did my baby go?
Is it wrong for me to want to hold her in my arms again and rock her?
Is it wrong for me to be able to fix everything that ails her with a Scooby-Doo band-aid?
Nah...it's not wrong.
I'm her mom...and I always will be.
My firstborn a.k.a. "The Senior"
My middle child - "The Junior" (yes, I will have to do this senior year thing two years in row)
My youngest - "The First Grader" :)
At least I have this one to comfort me when the other two leave me...
For a while anyway...but I'll think about that tomorrow...
My babies...First Day of School, August 9, 2010
Oh yes, Miss Scarlett, (said in my very best southern accent) you will deal with it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes so quickly.
ReplyDeleteI too, cried at every "last" with every single one of them.
I'm thinking of you and sending virtual hugs. That first senior year is bittersweet. You have pride and heartache at the same time.
My baby will start her senior year next week! It seems that time sometimes stands still during the moments of life - but the years whiz by.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful girls! I hope they have a great first day of school.
Oh, all the firsts and lasts-what is a mother to do!! I'm in the same boat; one daughter heading off to college, one entering 10th grade and the whole soon-to-be-16 and driving ordeal. And my baby is entering 3rd grade. Your daughters are all lovely but it is so hard to balance the love with the letting them fly, fly, fly.
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