I didn't miss the opportunity to tell God how much I appreciate HIS sunrise...I felt it was the least I could do since He sent it just to remind me that every new day is a blessing to be cherished :)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
First of all, I physically did not feel well. My youngest who was sick all week last week generously passed her germs on to me. She jumped out of bed fever free on Sunday ready to see her friends in Sunday School while I could barely lift my head off the pillow. Great. Just great.
Second, after missing 3 days of work last week to take care of my youngest (which I do not regret one iota), some serious stuff piled up on my desk. I had a list of immediate to-dos, paperwork, forms, no show reports etc. that without exception had to be completed first thing this morning. I also had 3 classes to teach...3 classes of students who haven't seen me in over a week. 3 classes of students who are understandably tired of showing up for class and finding a note on the door that says "Dr. Smith's classes are cancelled." They'd rather receive that kind of information before their alarm clocks go off.
All morning I kept asking my co-worker, neighbor and friend Missie, "Are you hot?" to which she repeatedly answered, "No, it's not hot in here; you have fever; you need a shot!" A shot! Where the heck did that come from?? Missie's a take the horse by the reins kinda girl...if you're sick, you get a shot...CHECK!...problem resolved. Me...not so much. Especially when we're talking about needles!
Around 1 p.m. I finally gave in and came home. I'm lucky to live only about 7-8 minutes from the community college where I work. That means a quick trip home for lunch is not out of the question...not that I ever take advantage of it...but it's there if I want. Today I did. I came home and started a pot roast for tonight's supper. After blowing my nose a gazillion times and coughing up my spleen, I took my temperature. Sure enough that bossy Missie was right. A stinkin' temperature! I don't have time for a temperature!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After I put the roast safely in the oven to slow cook over the next several hours, I choked down some Ibuprofen, popped another cough drop, grabbed my Vicks tissues and jumped in the car to go back to the office. Sick or not, I had left my window up...since I was hot and no one else was, I had lifted the window to get some fresh air. There was, of course, no one left in the office to close it for me so I headed that way.
I arrived at the office, pulled down the window, grabbed a textbook that I needed to finish a semester agenda, printed out a recipe, answered a quick email and left the office again. I swung by the post office; then, finally I headed to get the youngest from school. The youngest and I met the firstborn and middle child at home.
My middle child and youngest stayed home playing Wii while the firstborn and I set off for a doctor's appt. in a town 30 miles away. Not for me...for her. My beautiful talented firstborn somehow looks at herself and doesn't see what others see. She cut herself the first time in the 8th grade to ease the emotional pain of not measuring up. If she can't be perfect, she feels as if she's failed. We just found out about a year ago when the self harming behaviors became more noticeable and have had her in therapy ever since...We don't miss these doctor appts.
I'm crying now....so I'll need to save more of the firstborn's story in another blog...not sure why I felt led to share it here and now.
Her original appt. had been that morning, but I knew I didn't need to miss another class; my firstborn's doctor graciously let us shift the appt. to an afternoon slot that opened up. My firstborn was quiet on the trip up as well as back home. The appt. went well, but still I worried...I can't imagine where my firstborn gets her anxiety issues.
We walked back into the house and smelled that wonderful aroma that can only mean pot roast... then the firstborn and middle child left for show choir practice.
The ever courteous Head of the Household also sent a blackberry message that simply said, "bkb tonight." That's shorthand for, "There's a basketball game tonight at school so I won't be home for dinner." This message arrived at approximately 5:45 p.m. :(
I wanted to scream, "WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO EAT POT ROAST?????"
Please be sure to notice that I said I wanted to; I didn't say I did.
While my youngest daughter played Wii Fit, I made homemade mashed potatoes. By this point, I was damned and determined that SOMEBODY was going to have a good supper. I fixed myself and my youngest a plate. My youngest sat down at the kitchen bar with me and politely announced that she was not hungry.
My youngest daughter, who will be henceforth known as "I cannot tell a lie," then spilled the beans. While my firstborn and I were gone to the doctor, my youngest and her big sister, Miss Middle Child, had ordered a pizza from Dominos and had it delivered to our home!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because there was no sign of pizza anywhere, I made the correct assumption that they had eaten every single bite!
I didn't yell...I didn't slam the cabinet doors...I just kissed my youngest and told her I loved her.
Because I do.
I love them all.
I am blessed beyond measure.
I can't imagine my life any different...even though they wear me slap out sometimes.
I am reading a book by Joanna Weaver called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. I am learning to be still and wait for God.
I am learning to quit rushing around and trying to force everything to happen.
I am learning to leave the worry and anxiety to Him because He knows every hair on my head.
I am learning that I am not in control, and that actually feels good...to give it all back to Him.
I am learning that life is not perfect...because it's not meant to be. Life is busy. Life is inconvenient. And, sometimes we have bad days. For those days I remember a song by Amy Grant called Arms of Love:
Lord, I'm really glad you're here
I hope you feel the same when you see all my fears
And how I've failed
I fall sometimes
It's hard to walk on shifting sand
I miss the rock and find there's nowhere left to stand
I start to cry
I fall sometimes
I have found a place where I can hide
It's safe inside your arms of love
Like a child whose held throughout a storm
You keep me warm in your arms of love.
I have to believe that God has us all in his arms. It is the safest place I can imagine. I will continue to strive to be a Mary and be still. I want to see the squirrels, watch the sunset, spend time with my children, cook a pot roast...even if there's nobody home to eat it, and sit at the feet of my Savior.
Hold me in your arms today, Lord.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Monday: pot roast, carrots and potatoes, caesar salad and crescent rolls
Tuesday: Roan's crockpot lasagna
Wednesday: Gumbo cook-off for Wednesday Night Supper @ church (my middle child is helping me with this :) We've found a Paula Deen recipe that we think we can handle. It will be my first attempt at making gumbo! What better way to experiment than with a bunch of hungry folks trapped together at church who have to eat!
Thursday: meatloaf muffins, lima beans, mashed potatoes (my kids love it when I put barbeque sauce on these...my husband, not so much...have I mentioned yet how picky he is? If not, I'm sure I'll be mentioning it later )
Friday: Invitational Food (show choir competition)
Saturday: Invitational Food (show choir competition)
Sunday: ? not sure yet...I will be zonked after the show choir stuff
I made a couple of new very successful recipes this weekend, Ree Drummond's Potato Skins from her cookbook and Apple Dumplings from her blog. I'll post on them soon, but that success is definitely what's behind this inspiration to cook this week. Even my picky husband was pleased!! We'll see what happens this week...
Now that our girls are older and involved in outside activities, we seldom get a long drawn out Saturday morning anymore. It's been so long, in fact that when I woke up this past Saturday morning a little on the sad side because my firstborn and middle child had spent Friday night away at a show choir girls' bonding sleepover (God bless this child's mother), I didn't even realize at first that we didn't have any place to go! Understandably so, the show choir mom who had a houseful of high school aged girls in her house all night, sent them all packing pretty early. Mine were home by 9:00 a.m. and "STARVING" as only teenage girls can be. That's when I realized we had a morning together!
The youngest and I have been home since Wednesday. She ran fever all week and tried to cough up a lung several nights in a row. Our pediatrician diagnosed a sinus infection and some kind of respiratory virus which mimics asthma. Our middle child has asthma that was diagnosed when she was 18 months old and rears its ugly head every few years; I spent many sleepless nights in my middle child's bedroom making sure she was still breathing, so the word "asthma" sends me into Mama Bear protective mode. I hadn't been out of the house much since Wednesday in an effort to quarantine my youngest from any further invasion of nasty germs, so I didn't have any groceries. We had a rare opportunity to have a leisurely family breakfast together, and I didn't have one single egg or slab of bacon in the house!
I decided there had to be some way to make breakfast work. When I surveyed the kitchen, I realized that even with steady eating, we hadn't made much of a dent in the fruit my mom sent home with my middle child last weekend. Sending home more fruit than we can ever eat before it rots was my mom's way of saying we need to eat healthier snacks. She sent the fruit after she mentioned that a picture of me on Facebook looked "puffy." Ouch!
Anyhoo, my people won't necessarily ask for fruit...but if it's there, they'll sure eat it. And, if you chop it up, mix it up and make it look like a special dish, they'll eat even more of it. Funny how opening a carton, rinsing berries and pouring them in a bowl does that.
My mom sent several of these little dynamo packages of fruit. If I had read my friend Sharon's post about homegrown fruits, spurned from reading the book Animal Vegetable Miracle, I would have noticed where exactly this fruit was produced, how far it had to be shipped to me, how much fuel was used in those transportation efforts, etc.
I also wholeheartedly agree with Sharon that fruit bought in a Mississippi grocery store in January is anything but at its peak and can also be downright expensive! We keep a bowl of fresh fruit salad in the summer, but in the winter, I don't even try. Thank goodness my mom paid for these!
This is the point of the fruit salad process that at my house gets dangerous. Dangerous because if I'm not careful, by the time the entire fruit salad is done, there is no pineapple left. My children can smell fresh pineapple almost as if it was frying bacon...From the moment it becomes these little chunks, hands start coming from all directions.
I poured out what I had, measured, guesstimated how much water to add and stirred.