Today was rough day.
It started last night actually.
I've been stressed; my blood pressure has been up; I've sweated and even had chills. I've yelled, I've cried, I've sat outside until I could compose myself and then I've yelled some more. At work today I was a bleary eyed, emotional mess who couldn't concentrate on anything.
I firmly believe that God made teenagers with the idea that they would be so difficult to live with that we would be much more able to let them go when the time came.
I'm just about there.
At one point last night The Head of My Household and I ended up yelling at each other (something we actually seldom do)...and at one point, neither of us could figure out why we were mad at EACH OTHER.
That's when I knew it was time for a change.
I started this post earlier by listing out all the difficult things we've been going through with one of our kids lately...and at one point I realized something very important.
I was listing out all the things my kid was doing...and then I typed, "I've done everything I know to do."
I realized as soon as the period was typed that in actuality, I haven't done everything I know to do.
I've been so scared of "upsetting my kid" or "making her feel bad" that I haven't been a parent...
I haven't taken the keys away when she speeds down the road or runs a stop sign.
I haven't expected her to pull her own weight financially; I just keep writing checks while she plays on the computer or texts, tweets and FB's.
I didn't take her phone away the day I pulled up beside her on the highway and saw her texting and driving.
I haven't made her stay home when her room and bathroom are trashed.
I've spent a fortune on doctors, tests, medicine and not made her be accountable for her own part of feeling better (taking her meds for one)
I have given her way too much freedom in the afternoons when she gets out of school.
I didn't force schedule changes, time efficiency and sleep when she came home with a bad grade on her report card and numerous tardy slips for not even trying to get to school on time.
I haven't given her the opportunity to learn to be responsible...for herself.
Buddy, I am now.
I already have the phone. Not sure when I'm giving it back.
Maybe when hell freezes over.
I found some funnies to help my feelings tonight...
kinda mean...but hey...if the shoe fits...
This one made me laugh out loud...how many of us parents REALLY knew what we were getting ourselves into????
When everything seems to be working out smoothly, hold your breath and don't move
And, the reality...I can't help that I care...no matter what they do to us, how they act, the choices they make...we love them...and we are willing to do whatever it takes to help them grow up into the people we know they are capable of being...even if it means they'll hate us for a while.