Tuesday, December 27, 2016

The Princess is Dead

4:35 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 27, 2016

"Shame is not something I aspire to."

Carrie Fisher said this in Sept. 2016.  
Carrie Fisher said a lot of things.
She was not a bullshitter
And it freed her.

As I was scrolling through my online friends' posts last night, I came across a post from someone who posted about her sobriety anonymously.  
Someone she knew had found her social media account and started following it...and she was freaking out. 
I get that.
I really do.
She was trying to decide whether to shut down her account completely, keep posting and being honest, or what?  

4:39
"post from someone who posted..." oh brother.

Sorry, English teacher disease wants me to go back and edit but I shall forge ahead through my 30 minute commitment to myself.

Oy

I don't share everything with everybody.
And this is exactly what I told her.
Each person has to decide what she is comfortable sharing and when. 
I don't think that's a decision anyone can or should make for someone else.

This journey...mental health...addiction...is a personal one.  So far I don't believe that there is a textbook version of the illness or recovery.  
Some people say we should share everything to help others.  And I see that point.  I do.
Which is why most of us in this galaxy far away choose to post somewhat publicly to begin with.
But the structure of that is shaped differently by the person on that journey...and should be.
Our sobriety is the most important thing.
Whatever it takes to protect that is what we have to do...
So, while we strive to help others...we can't do that if we don't take care of ourselves. 

I'm still learning.
I was scared to comment to others at first in fear that I would say something "wrong."
But, what if there isn't something wrong.
What if everything we have to say touches someone?
Not everybody.
But someone.
Doesn't that someone need to be reached as well?

Could it be possible that mental illness and addiction are so prevalent today because we try to apply rules...a script...imagine how it would feel to not follow the rules of mental illness...to not fit the characteristics of an addict even though you know you are one.
So now, you're not just messed up...you're really messed up.
You don't even fit the profile of a messed up messed up.
Yeesh.

4:48

So who do we tell?
Whoever we feel led to tell...whoever we want to tell, however we want to tell it, whenever we want to tell it.
And, then we don't tell it if we don't want to.
Period.

It's how I feel anyway.

4:50

When it comes down to it, the person is the one who has to come to terms.
The person lives it

5:02

Me.
My life





5:05


2 comments:

  1. Indeed she said it like it is. Sad that she didn't have more time.

    I think the people who are honest and open about their struggles, whatever they may be, perhaps have an easier time dealing with them. When problems are shared, you're no longer alone with them, you can commiserate with others who know your woe and perhaps find solutions and resources you didn't know were out there. I think those that hold it all in suffer most.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do agree, Karen. It is scary to be inside your own head, struggling, and feeling very alone. Some people know and get it, but there will always be others who don't. There is certainly a freedom associated with telling it all. Then you get to tell it on your own terms, call the shots...I think that's what Carrie Fisher did.

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