Sunday, July 21, 2013

Girl Talk - Falling off the (Clean Eating) Wagon and Perimenopause

I started this girl talk thing by accident bc of my hoo-hah surgery...
I honestly never intended to keep talking about this stuff, but I've been noticing some things...some girlie things..

Yesterday, for example, was the 2nd day in a row I woke up feeling like crap...irritable, biting people's heads off crap.  My hoo-hah is still achy...and I blamed it yesterday...damned hoo-hah.

By the time I went to bed Friday night I was exhausted, didn't really care about much going on around me, and couldn't stand for anything or anybody to touch me.  
I'm cold...and then I'm hot.
My face is breaking out as if I'm 13 again.
I've taken more baths this summer than I have taken in the last 5 years of my life all put together probably. 
(I'm a shower person mostly, just in case you were freaking out about my lack of cleanliness.)

Take yesterday, for example, 3 baths...not the usual 2...but 3.
3 baths.
I'm. tired. of. sitting. in. the. tub.
I've spent my entire freaking summer sitting in the freaking tub.
That's my hoo-hah's fault too.

Today I also fell off the wagon...the clean eating wagon, mind you.

I started my day with toast and 2 fried eggs
I made a peach, banana, spinach, Greek yogurt, Chia seed smoothie around lunchtime.

The real trouble began when we had kids over to swim in the afternoon, so I ate kid food, Doritos, sub sandwich with roast beef, turkey, ham, mayo, tomato, salt, pepper, cheddar cheese and Trop 50 lemonade.

Then I ate Cheetos.

Then, I started eating pineapple, grapes, strawberries and cantaloupe from the fruit bowl I chopped.  
By this time, I knew I was in trouble.

After the kids left, I looked for more Doritos.
Couldn't find any, so I went and sat in the bathtub.

I made myself a latte with 1% milk and took my computer to my room to recline and rest the achy hoo-hah.
I ate a bite of chocolate cake leftover from last night's dinner.
And a couple of grapes.
Grapes cancel out chocolate cake, right?

I let the little dogs out since they are afraid of little kids and had been hiding in their crates.
Then, I ate a hush puppy and some fried pickles leftover from last night's supper.

Yes, I said fried pickles. 
I don't even really like fried pickles, people.  

I unloaded and reloaded the washer and dryer.  
And went back to the kitchen to "start the dishwasher"

After the dishwasher success, I ate some plain Lays potato chips and poured myself a Coke.
Do you have any earthly idea how long it has been since I've had a Coke?????

My middle daughter caught me eating chips and Coke, so I asked her if she had any chocolate hidden away in her room.
She had Reeses Pieces (yuck - I ate 3) and then she pulls out this "Critter" thingie that she got from the Cookie Place in the mall.   

I ate that thing, which is essentially 2 cookies with white frosting between them holding them together like a sandwich and decorated around the edges with milk chocolate.

Yes, I ate all that.

Since starting this fitness/health conscious journey, I have abstained from alcohol completely.  
I almost fell off that wagon too.
But, I didn't.

I didn't because I realized finally, as I have for the last few months in a row, that these last couple of days are the days before, on top of my achy hoo-hah, I'll have to worry about normal womanly functions that only happen at certain times of the month.  
Imagine 2 weeks after surgery not knowing whether or not you are bleeding to death or you've started your period.  
Yeah, that was me last month.  I even had to call the doctor's office.  
Pretty embarrassing.
The nurse actually said to me:
"Are you having your period?"
Me: "I'm not sure."
Nurse: "Where is the blood coming from?"
Me: "I'm not sure."
Nurse: "Is it coming from your vagina?" 


Because I'm 44, nothing is normal anymore, nothing is scheduled really...some months I have a period every 2 weeks, and sometimes every 4; sometimes it lasts for 2 days and sometimes 7.  Not to mention all the extra anatomical irregularities caused by the 10 cm cyst removed from my hoo-hah.
I won't go into any more detail with you about all the other inconsistencies.
You're welcome.

And, little sister nursie wants to know where the blood is coming from!!!
How the hell am I supposed to know that????
Why you think I'm calling you?????
Here's where I might have dropped the F bomb if I was an F bomb dropper.

The only female bodily functions that seem to be keeping a pretty regular pattern are my hormones, appearing out of control these 2 days before when I feel like shit.
Sorry, not sorry.
Top that off with an anxiety problem I barely keep under control on a good day.

Because of my ovaries' irregular schedule, I unfortunately never know when these days are going to hit.  
And, I feel pretty sucky before I put two and two together...or I eat all of the foods listed above.
The best news of all is that perimenopause can last for 10 years.

Then, like right this minute as I'm typing this post, I feel stupid.  
Damn ovaries, uterus and hoo-hah one upped me again.

I'll have to run 162 miles to burn off all this crap I ate.
Maybe more.
Well played, female anatomy, well played.

Ok, ladies, do you have similar experiences each month?
Ladies my age...what helps deal with perimenopause symptoms?


  1. It was quite a while ago for me - I went very early but I do remember being irrationally angry all the time. I mean mind blowingly angry at the stupidest things.

    Some one told me to try some king of Chinese herb called dong quai (?) I was so violently allergic it took me two weeks to recover. Needless to say I never took it again. I've also heard flax seeds and/oil can help (also allergic.)

    It was short for me only like two years and then it was calmer "on the other side." Wish I had more to offer. Sounds like you really are craving salt more than anything....

    1. I too am highly allergic to a lot of meds/herbs etc. so I don't take anything unless the dr. and I are working on it together. Interesting that you noticed the salt preference...I typed the post and it never occurred to me. Today I'm better but still ate a snack bag of Fritos and am eating popcorn right now...still salty. Wonder what that means?

  2. Oh my goodness I tried one of those cookie things about a year ago. It was heaven. I think it was two snickerdoodles with cream cheese frosting. Amazing.
    I am like that too - once I fall off the wagon it is hard to stop and it turns into a full blown binge. So frustrating. I am sorry you are having such a rough time.

    1. I feel better today, Abby...that's how quickly those hormones can fluctuate :/ I am going to talk to my dr. about what we can do and start tracking on my day - planner about the monthly stuff. This is the 21st century so surely they have something I can do. I ate a waffle tonight and grits, but tomorrow I'll get right back on my normal plan. I will feel much better mentally when I can get back to my normal routine of running.

    2. Oh I totally understand. When I cannot run it throws everything off. Running is such a stress reliever.

  3. Once you fall off it's so hard to get back on (at least for the day anyway!) - I was getting hungry reading all of the naughty but yummy things you ate!!! So sorry about all the womanly issues you are going through. I am SOOOO not looking forward to that day. Ugh!

    1. Running helps me so much, Jen...I started running in January because of some of the hormonal changes, anxiety issues, etc. I've been astounded at the difference running has made in my life. Having surgery this summer and not being able to run is what has caused this emotional setback. This stage of life has its pains; there's no doubt about that. I am, however, looking forward to the day that I no longer have to worry about all this womanly mess :P

  4. I am 60 ...done with meno but hardest thing I ever did! My bible was The Wisdom of Menopause by Dr. Christine Northrup. Saved my life (and my sanity) many times...running is good...I still do 6 walking mostly but I am old..ha! Really hard to start meno and still having periods...feel for you...

    1. It's a pain no doubt...I think I've seen that book somewhere. I'll have to check it out! Thanks!!

  5. OMG!!! I so relate to the peri menopause stuff. I can skip a month and then have two periods in a month. They can be very light or they can be like I am hemorraging. I am so emotional that I will cry at anything. I am 45 and it started about a year ago. My sister in law is 51 and is still dealing with it but she says it does get better and easier. I am grateful that I have her to talk to about my symptoms. Btw, I laughed so much with this post. Thank you!!!

    1. I sure hope it gets better...10 years of this will make me a nutcase no doubt!! I don't cry, but I get angry like crazy. I just feel like my head is spinning and there is chaos all around me. Very frustrating!!!1

  6. I am turning 45 in September and I can't say that I have experienced all of the things you mentioned, but some. My periods are still very normal. 28 day cycle and then bam. Always the same number of days, etc. I haven't had the eating thing happen yet but my having to be gluten free sort of keeps me in check anyway. I have been getting moments of irritability and I can't seem to sleep at all. I have no idea if that is related to age or not. I had the acne thing three years ago but when I went gluten free, that went away. I think my being gluten free has curbed a lot of the hormonal stuff which is odd because I didn't think the two could be related.

    I'm sure your cyst removal has some hormonal side effects that may take a while to level out.