Thursday, September 15, 2016

Living Loved

Chapter 3 of Lysa TerKeurst's book Uninvited was written for me, y'all.

I'm not even playin'

I had a situation at work yesterday that rocked me. 
I left work feeling rejected and even described myself as the stepchild.  
By the time I got in my car, I had imagined all kinds of scenarios where the entire campus was conspiring against me. 
As if.

I cried in my car and sent a long text to my husband...who didn't reply right away because...well...he never does. 
So at least I don't take that personally.

My question to him at the end of that text was something to the effect of "How do I know what God wants me to do?" 
When he responded, his response was simple, strong, sure, and comforting.
Not long, drawn out, overanalyzing every nook and cranny, every facet of the situation...
just simple...
and true.
Just like him. 
God sent him to me, you know. 

As tiredness seeped in, those feelings of rejection returned.
Why me.
I've been trying so hard.
I've been killing myself trying hard.
Why don't they like me?
Why am I being punished?

Guess what? 
Not only am I probably imagining all the conspiracy against me and "feelings" about me, but could it be that I'm not being punished?
Could it be that God putting on the breaks FOR me is His way of pulling me back to Him even more. 
Could it be Him nudging me toward something else?

Is it possible that things we perceive as "bad" aren't really that bad after all?  
Could "bad" things possibly be used for our good?  If only we look at them through God's eyes?

Step back, Patti.  This change.  
This change is in the world.
He wants me more with Him than with the world.  
This change gives me more opportunity with Him instead of the world.  

How does He always know what we need?
And why do I always fight Him when I know He knows what I need?

It took me 2 hours in quiet time this morning to come to that resolution...that I already knew.  

The Lord your God is in your midst, 
a mighty one who will save; 
he will rejoice over you with gladness; 
he will quiet you by his love; 
he will exult over you with loud singing
Zephaniah 3:17

He will quiet me by His love, y'all.

"It's settling in my soul, I was created by God, who formed me because He so much loved the very thought of me.  When I was nothing, He saw something and declared it good.  Very good. And very loved."
Lysa TerKeurst (40)

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