Monday, January 2, 2017


Monday, Jan. 2, 2017
9:32 p.m.

I saw a post today on Instagram that bothered me a little.
The person in the recovery community I follow was expressing negativity towards someone who had contacted her wanting to save her with Jesus.

The individual did not react positively to this offer (I'm rolling my eyes here because I can only imagine how the offer came about).
She then went on to mention her reasons for not needing to be saved.  She didn't have a problem with Jesus.  She just didn't need to be saved by him.

I need Jesus.
I cannot even begin to imagine how I would still be alive if I didn't know He was there.
The person on Instagram made me sad because I wish I could share the contentment I feel with her.
In all other seasons of my life...the ups and downs...I've known one thing for sure.
That Jesus would not turn me away.

How does a person keep moving forward if she doesn't know that?

9:36 p.m.

My Christmas tree is still up.
More eye rolling.
Every year I've wanted to get some new organizing boxes and load all the Christmas stuff up appropriately.
You know the boxes with the ornament depressions or the cardboard dividers?
I don't trust the cardboard dividers by the way.
It's cardboard.
Usually by after Christmas I'm just done with it. 
I toss most of it in boxes and pretty much toss it all into the attic.
So you can imagine the mess now.
I didn't get half of my decorations down this year.
I have this weird desire to make everything new.
Obviously, the traditional ornaments and such that have sentimental value, I wouldn't want to lose, but there are a lot of ornaments and knick-knacks in the attic that I have no idea where they came from...they mean nothing to me. 
All the clutter clutters my mind I think.
It's one of those things where there's so much to do that you don't even know where to start.
So you just don't start.
You go sit down and rest.
And worry about it.
And then feel guilty because once again, you half-way put the Christmas tree, ornaments, and decorations up.


Today's run wasn't the best.  My legs and ankles are sore in places they are not normally. 
That soreness is from all the hillwork I did at my mom's.
It still slowed me down and I had to remind myself that I'm not in this for speed.
Anything worthwhile takes work and takes time.
I also met two new dogs in our neighborhood.
2 new dogs whose owners think it's ok for them to just roam the neighborhood.



I'm thinking about the show Breaking Bad...and Mad Men...the shows I loved but really don't think I would watch now. 
Too many triggers I think.
But very realistic portrayals of high functioning alcoholics (Mad Men) and meth addicts (Breaking Bad).  
I've never done meth or any other drugs by the way.  
I'm thankful for that.
Good grief.  I can't even imagine.
I do think some people have addictive personalities...those are the people who may be more inclined to become addicts. 
I don't know.
I'm just typing at this point. 
I'm certainly no expert.

Going to bed on time is key for me.
For my health, for my brain, for me physically.
Mind, body, and spirit.
If I go to bed on time, then for some reason, waking up isn't so bad.
There's coffee too...and that's always good.



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