Sunday, October 8, 2017

49th Birthday, late edition - thanks, Nate.

I logged in today to change my "About Me" status here on the old blog...gotta change that 48 to 49...whoop whoop!

49 has been a pretty decent year.  
I've been sober for the entire 49th year, and while still working every day to hold onto that sobriety, I feel more and more confident as each day passes. 
One of the things I love about being a "middle aged woman" is that for so many issues, I just don't care anymore what other people think.
This is who I am.
Like it.
Or not.
Doesn't bother me one way or another.
Gosh I wish I could have convinced my 9 year old self that...or even my 29 year old self...or golly, even my 39 year old self.

The numbers don't scare me.
But, I'd be lying if the changes in my body don't aggravate the crap out of me. 

I'm not running anymore because my stupid lower back can't recover.
I can't see a thing...nighttime especially is ridiculous.
The wrinkles on my neck, chest, and of course these "jowels" on my jawline have, in fact, begun to bother vanity I guess.
I'm technically in menopause but still having hot flashes.
Probably looking at a hysterectomy for Christmas.
Thanks, Santa :) 

I said it.
It bothers me.

But, guess what?
I'm alive.
And I'm enjoying life.
We've moved to a new house.
I'm reading again.
My kids are all doing ok and working through their own lives.
The husband and I are figuring out this new chapter of our marriage.
It's all good right now.

I'm a realist though...and I know that the ebb and flow of life will continue as it always has.  
I'm ok with that.
I truly am.


  1. We are the same age. Happy Bday!
    There are a couple of things that bother me vanity wise, dark spots. I am getting freckles but then they turn to dark spots. I am also not liking the weird skin around my eyebrows. It's changed, gotten thinner and is easily irritated by sunscreen which I wear faithfully. My daughter, age 14 started a skin care routine at the age of 10 on my advice so she can avoid all this other stuff as long as possible.

    Yay on the sobriety. My husband, as I mentioned before has been sober for many years but this past Friday my in-laws met us for dinner in a bar, which was weird to me given that they know his struggle. We ate dinner but it was strange to be surrounded by drink.

  2. Thanks! I knew we were sisters ;)
    Dark spots here too...especially on the side of my face and my hands. I've tried to impress upon my girls how important early skincare is as well. I think their generation is more open to that idea than ours was. When I was growing up, it was all about how dark we could get...even a good burn was a fabulous day :( It's hard to type "good burn" given all that we know today about skin cancer.

    My oldest daughter is living with us in our new house for a few months after returning from Key West (before the hurricane). She is not an alcoholic and wholeheartedly enjoying her youth. She had a friend over for dinner one night. I went to bed early and then got up the next morning early to find an open bottle (half-full) of red wine on my kitchen counter and a 1/2 full bottle of Captain Morgan on top of my fridge. Seriously. I don't think there was really any danger of me actually drinking, but it was a test no doubt and I felt a very insensitive act on her part. I have since put all the alcohol in a closed cabinet and stressed to her that she is more than welcome to have friends over, but she MUST, out of respect for the rest of us, clean up after herself and put things away. I think alcohol has become such a normalized part of many people's lives that it just doesn't occur to them that's not the case for everyone.