Book Review and Giveaway - I Hardly Ever Wash My Hands - TLC Book Tours

I Hardly Ever Wash My Hands: The Other Side of OCD by J.J. Keeler

Paragon House, 2012

Format? Oversized paperback

Source? I received my complimentary copy from the author and publisher via TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review.  All opinions are my own.

Why?  It's probably only fair that I disclose upfront how close I am to this topic.  One of my daughters was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago.  Up until then, like most people, I also thought OCD was about hand-washing or manic cleaning.  The truth of the matter is that OCD can manifest itself in many ways.  It is an illogical obsession...for rules, organization, cleanliness, perfectionism (my daughter's flavor), things to be done a certain way, etc.  Once my daughter was diagnosed, I looked around and began to recognize some of the same tendencies in myself and other members of my family...fears or ways of doing things based on illogical, unrealistic fear...and true panic when that order breaks down.  Lots of folks kid around and say, "Oh my gosh, I thought I was gonna have a panic attack!"  Until you've really had one though, there's no way for you to understand.  I read just about anything and everything I can get my hands on about OCD in order to keep us all somewhat stable...whatever that means ;P

What Now?  I'm happy to pass this one along to someone who'd like to read it.  I gently read it on purpose, no bindings are broken, and I even annotated on post-it notes instead of inside the book itself!! Yay Me!!  The author also autographed the inside cover of the book :) 

Just let me know in the comments if you're interested.  I'll keep this giveaway open for a week and draw a winner next Friday, July 27 :)

Golden Lines

Looking back, it seems I've always had it, the way I've always had blue eyes or a tendency to tap my feet to a song's beat.

It hasn't always been the same.  It has jumped around from an obsession with AIDS to an obsession with rules, from an obsession with praying to an obsession with morals.

Nowadays, the obsession ebbs and flows.  The vast majority of the time, I don't worry about it at all.  My mind has moved on to other things.  But it is always there, sitting behind the scenes of my brain, waiting to be called to center stage.

If you can say anything nice about OCD, you would have to compliment its creativity.  Just when you're working on conquering one demon, another pops up, like the purple gophers in the old Whac-a-mole game. The better you get with your large, rubber mallet, the quicker the gophers start coming right back.

The weird thing about OCD, or more accurately one of the weird things, is its ability to seesaw: on occasion, it allows reason to seep in, like a ray of sun through a broken window shade.

I do, however, believe in God, and have come to accept that it is called faith for a reason: if there was proof - irrefutable video footage of Heaven - the word wouldn't fit.

I sometimes wonder if mental illnesses are like snowflakes with no two being alike. It's important to keep that in mind and remember your OCD might be different from mine.

Summary

Keeler discusses very personal stories about growing up with OCD and not realizing what was driving her crazy until well into adulthood.  She adds humor mixed with facts in order to press forward her most important points, OCD is not always the stereotypical hand-washing disease and those suffering from OCD in its many variations can and do live normal lives.

What I Liked

The #1 most important thing in this book, to me, are the examples and concrete statements explaining that OCD isn't always what we think. 

If I suffered from Keeler's particular kind of OCD I would be scared to death...and she does a great job of portraying her fear...of hurting someone, of telling others about her fears, about thinking something is really really wrong with her, etc.  I think, if nothing else, someone with the irrational fear of hurting others would be thankful to finally read something that shows them they are not the only one...and, most importantly, that a fear of hurting someone is a lot different than actually hurting someone.

The bomb in the Teddy Bear - this chapter was one of my favorites bc it reminded me of an incident with my older daughter that happened when she was a child.  She collected Ty Beanie Babies, had tons of them, and everybody, knowing of her love for them, gave them to her as gifts.  There was this one Beanie Baby, however, which I kept finding all over the house.  I would put it back in the toybox, on her shelf, on her bed, etc. only to find it again the next day hidden somewhere in another part of the house.  A few times I simply found it in the hall where it had been tossed.  At that age, probably 6-7, she couldn't explain to me why, but she simply could not/would not have it in her room.  Even if she could see it somewhere else, as long as it was not in her room, she was ok...but it could not cross her threshold.  I promptly threw that sucker away (it's probably worth a bazillion dollars today).

The chapter on Rules - this chapter fits my OCD flavor the best...I didn't get in much trouble when I was young either...bc I didn't want anyone to be disappointed in me, I believed what they told us in school about drugs and I took following directions very seriously (still do, much to the chagrin of my students at times).  I don't have to have EVERYTHING exactly the way I want it, but the things I can't let go of, I simply can't let go of.  My way has order, it makes sense and gives me some semblance of control in a chaotic world.  I do not, however, try to control things I cannot control...I'm not afraid to fly, for example.  

I must pick up pennies, no matter how nasty or where they are found.  Poultry also must be washed, hands and sink scoured and the poultry washed again...salmonella, you know, is a living breathing bacteria just waiting to attack your family :P  Expired items MUST be disposed of.  The day before those items can be lifesavers...after that, you're on your own.

I like law; I like security; I like making rules and expecting others to follow them.  I don't like it so much when some particular "others" don't follow my rules (my two teenage daughters).  I've made it home with something from the store that I didn't pay for, and gone all the way back to pay for it.  Everything must be good.  Period. Check.

What I Didn't Like

The Title - I almost didn't read this bc from the title I thought it was going to be about someone who was "opposite" from hand-washing, i.e. someone who never washes their hands.  That, my own OCD wouldn't have allowed me to read unscathed, and I try very hard to stay away from things I know will set off my reptilian brain (that's what our therapist calls it anyway :)
The author never mentions an aversion to hand-washing...she mentions being untidy but nothing that would make my germ-warfare captain jump up and start calling out orders.

The author's fear of hurting others truly outweighs any of her other compulsions and made me wonder time and time again if this book should have been marketed specifically to people with that particular brand of OCD.  I cannot even imagine living with that kind of fear and would assume that those who do would benefit tremendously from this book.

The author didn't talk much about therapy...just a mention in the last chapter, "Dear Friend."  Again, I am biased here, but an exceptional therapist has been the key to our family's management of OCD.  I also am not a believer in medication without therapy.  We do medicate, but we also "therapize" (my made up word) to the point sometimes that I think I'm therapized to death.  I need my own therapy just to deal with everybody else's therapy...and so on.

Overall Recommendations
For someone who's suffering from Keeler's OCD of hurting others, I think this is a must read for support purposes.  For others with OCD it's an interesting read and you'll see yourself in some of Keeler's examples with her other OCD characteristics since OCD tends to shift...it's a "compulsion" disorder...what a person has a compulsion about is up to his/her own individual brain.

Author

J.J. Keeler is on Twitter and Facebook

Other Stops on the TLC Tour

Tuesday, July 10th: A Bookish Affair

Monday, July 16th: Tiffany’s Bookshelf

Tuesday, July 17th: Oh! Paper Pages

Wednesday, July 18th: Surviving the Madhouse

Thursday, July 19th: 50 Books Project

Friday, July 20th: Peppermint PhD

Monday, July 23rd: Lolly’s Hope

Tuesday, July 24th: I’m a mom. I have OCD.

Wednesday, July 25th: Bringing along OCD

Thursday, July 26th: she treads softly

Monday, July 30th: Peeking Between the Pages

Tuesday, July 31st: The Beat OCD Blog

Wednesday, August 1st: 71° & Sunny: One Christian’s Odyssey

Thursday, August 2nd: Adventures in Anxiety Land

Friday, August 3rd: OCD BloggerGirl’s Blog

Monday, August 6th: Expoing OCD

Tuesday, August 7th: OCD Talk

Book Review - Love at First Bark

Love at First Bark by Julie Klam

Riverhead Books, 2011

Why?  I love dogs, had this one on my WishList, and my sweet Secret Santa Sandy sent it to me :)

It's even signed by the author :)

What Now? into the glass case it goes, for keeps

Golden Lines

Somehow I housebroke Beatrice with no problem in a very short period of time right before I went on bed rest for my pregnancy.  It's like I told her, "You go to the bathroom outside, not inside."  And she answered, "Got it."  Whereas Wisteria and Fiorello were told, shown, taken outside with paper towels with their pee on them to show them where it went.  I did a puppet show, and a PowerPoint demonstration and they still didn't get it.  They'd go out for long walks and come back inside and pee on the rug.  

As soon as we entered the lobby, we saw a woman at the admitting desk dumping the six puppies her unneutered female had had--she had done this before, with this dog's first litter.  She looked at me with sad eyes asking if I would like to adopt them, and I just said, "No, thank you."  Not two inches from where she sat was a poster advertising low-cost and free spaying and neutering.  Her laziness had resulted in the birth of at least twelve unwanted dogs, and I was not sympathetic to her.

So many stories of heroic dogs.  I had my own store of them.  And that really was the point.  I had always felt that any dog I took care of would've done the same for me if it could, and in fact by rescuing them they filled my heart in such a way that I was rescued right back.

More often than not, what animals require our protection from is not hurricanes or fires, but abuse at the hands of other people.  

***the quotes above are taken from an uncorrected proof and may have been revised in the final copy***

Summary

Within three chapters, "Morris the Pit Bull, Couples Therapist," "My Darling Clementine," and "There is a Dog House in New Orleans," Julie Klam illustrates with words how "saving a dog can sometimes help you save yourself."  Julie, her husband Paul and daughter Violet live in a NYC apartment with 4 of their own dogs, foster others, and try to live a life of gratitude and respect for dogs and other animals who share our Earth, no matter how sick, crippled, etc. they are.  

What I Liked

The chapter organization - even though I wish there was more, I liked how each chapter focused its storyline on particular experiences Julie has had with specific animals.  Those focus animals are in no way the only animals mentioned in those chapters, but they are the lead character if you will.  Since these chapters are snippets/pieces of Julie's life, the focus dog helps to keep things rolling since the chapters are not in sequential order (which dog came first, etc).

Julie's sense of humor - I laughed out loud in several places...Julie writes like she's having an enjoyable conversation with me...her quirkiness and ability to laugh at even experiences with a dog that had an inability to control her own poo keeps the real life of dog rescue at the forefront of the conversation, not the romanticized SuperWoman notion.  

Julie's family involvement - Julie's husband Paul was a normal husband...5 dogs in a NYC apartment! No way!  But, he believed in Julie and he believed in the animals.  They worked things out, not always perfectly but they worked it out.  They spent their first time away from the home together since their honeymoon in New Orleans helping a rescue group capture a puppy with a jar stuck on his head...and they were changed by the experience as individuals and as a couple.

It's ok to make mistakes - Julie had two dogs who she couldn't housetrain and had to send them to Kanine Kamp instead, and Julie had a difficult time being "the pack leader."  If you love dogs, you know what NEEDS to be done...but it's not always what you WANT to do.  When my Layla looks at me with those beautiful German Shepherd brown eyes, I have a hard time not melting and giving in myself.  

the Network of rescuers - I didn't really realize how rescue of this scale worked...it was very interesting to learn how a rescuer with a potential rescue dog sends out a message via Twitter, FB and other social media outlets to reach other rescuers in particular groups...and then other rescuers send the message on to their contacts and so on down the line...kinda  like a phone tree alert.  I think Julie mentioned it at one point, but when she and Paul were sending out messages after finding Morris the Pit Bull, the process resembled the Twilight Bark from Disney's 101 Dalmations :)  How fitting is that?

Rescue is serious business - I needed this reminder that you can be involved in animal rescue and not keep every animal you find.  That doesn't mean it's not difficult at times to let one go, but it's the reality as sad as it may seem.  Sometimes I am scared to become involved bc of this very issue, but with Julie's story I learned how we can all work together to find, rescue, rehabilitate and match dogs with perfect homes for them.  

What I Didn't Like

I wanted the book to be longer...only 3 chapters left me craving more...and googled the websites of the blogs, SPCA groups, rescue groups and people Julie worked with just to continue the experience of reading this book.

I enjoy the conversational tone of Julie's book but I'm easily distracted so every now and then her offshoot stories would get in my way...I didn't really "dislike" this because I could easily get back on track...but I can see where this might be a bigger problem with a longer book.  

Overall Recommendation

If you are an animal lover...and especially a dog lover, and feel that we owe something to these wonderful creatures, many who are roaming the streets homeless, you need to read this book.  

Julie's descriptions of city living and urban rescue and the chapter on New Orleans after Katrina are geographically and culturally interesting as well as dog rescue interesting.

Julie has another book as well, You Had Me at Woof, which I have already added to my WishList :)

If it makes you happy...

I've been a little low lately...

But, I expect it at the change of seasons...

Or with the beginning of school.

I get so wrapped up with trying to make sure everybody and everything is organized that sometimes I forget to slow down some and take care of myself.

Over the years I've learned that there are several very easy things that help me "take care of myself"

1.  I have found that my own anxiety is much more in check if I get a reasonable amount of sleep at night...luckily for me, I have a 6 year old who needs much more sleep than most, and I can lay down with her at bedtime (that's my story anyway).

I am a sleeper...a napper...if I sit still for long, I'm asleep.

My mom told me that when I went to first grade, she worried about 2 things...

how I was going to carry my lunch tray all by myself...

and how I would make it all day without a nap.

I'm doing just fine with my lunch tray these days...

but I still need my nap.

2.  I also get a "rush" from having a meal plan and feeding my family on weeknights.

There's nothing like a friend of my firstborn who comes to my house at lunch during the week because our leftovers are "amazing!"

There's also nothing like sharing leftovers with my co-workers...in the crazy world of work, we take care of one another, and nobody has to run to McDonald's bc he/she is starving to death at lunchtime.

My firstborn's boyfriend payed me the best compliment a week or so ago when he was visiting from college. 

When I asked whether or not they would like to go out to eat or for me to cook something, he said, "Please cook something."

Now, don't get me wrong here; I am no fabulous, famous cook...I just think a homecooked meal makes everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside.

3.  Coupon clipping makes me feel as if I'm conquering capitalism and saving my family money at the same time.

It's a challenge...an adrenaline rush when I make my strategy, draw up the plan and then head for the front lines.

I have never been a numbers person so this one is a little weird to me...but hey, everybody can learn.

Paying off my credit cards and becoming more responsible with our livlihood has made me feel much more confident and self assured.

I am a competent person when it comes to money.

The Head of My Household asked me today if I knew how much I spent on the kids back to school shopping (we were not able to shop with my mom this year, and my youngest had her surgery, so most of our shopping was online...all purchases I made were on his credit card)

I stunned him when I quoted the exact amount ($2500) and told him that I had taken the money out of my extra summer check and placed it in savings.

He about fell out of his chair when I asked him whether he would like for me to write him a check or just electronically transfer the money to his account :):)

4.  Blogging.

I would have never imagined when I began my blog that I would have so many strangers out there in bloggy world that I consider my friends.

Some blogs I read along with the masses; some I read for recipes or saving scenarios at CVS and Walgreens; and some I read because those bloggers live are in places where I have visited and loved...their photography and stories bring back memories everytime I visit. 

Then, there are those bloggers who I know would be my friends if we knew each other in real life.

Other moms with personalities similar to my own as well as trials and triumphs that we've all experienced at some time or another.

Sometimes it's just nice to know I'm not completely crazy :)

And other blogs I just read for information or even just for a laugh.

And, then there are the book bloggers.

Oh my.

The first day I discovered book bloggers I felt like the little girl in the library who had found a home.

For, I remember book smells, the sights and sounds of even my middle school library, the quiet peacefulness of the stacks when I was in grad school and oh my goodness the card catalogs. 

Finally, a group of people to talk to who honored the printed page as much as I always have.

5.  My family.

When we are all under the same roof, I feel complete.  I even happily take in strays when necessary.

We have our challenges, no doubt, but we are trying to work on those together...to hopefully make us even stronger in the process.

Sometimes the world around us feels as if it is falling apart.

Our therapist talks about home as a harbor.

The harbor is the place where a sailboat can safely roam about and learn to sail...coming back in closer to the safety of the dock when necessary...and in the case of teenager sailboats, having to stay at the dock for an extended period of time if they venture too far too soon.

The harbor is also the place that a sailboat returns to after sailing about in the wild waves of the ocean.

The harbor is a place to mend, to float gently on the protected ocean and relax knowing that the rougher waves cannot reach you there...

The harbor is a place to rest and to trust that all who reside there have your best interest at heart.

See, isn't that a cool extended metaphor?

Our therapist is such a smart lady!!

6.  And, speaking of therapy...

Our therapist is not really "my" therapist.

But, committing to therapy to help our daughters has helped us all in the process...and helped our family.

I think therapy has made us closer, more open and honest with one another, and much more able to say what we think and feel.

I know there are folks out there with much bigger problems.

But, I've often wondered if those problems would have gotten so big if people would turn to therapy sooner, and not wait until everything is just catastrophic.

Sometimes an outside, objective perspective looking in might be all it would take for some families or individuals to see the danger signs ahead.

I certainly do not know the answers for everyone.

I just know how much therapy has helped us.

And that makes me happy.

Happiness

The Head of My Household and I had a conversation about happiness yesterday.

The Head of My Household is not a Chatty Charles so this was quite an accomplishment. 

What's even more of an accomplishment is that I didn't start this conversation :)

The Head of My Household is my friend. 

I am lucky.

He knows me, understands me (as much as any man can understand a woman), and accepts me.

After this past week's therapy sessions with our daughters, I told him I was going to need therapy to work through my issues with their therapy.

I was really kidding...I think.

For both of us all of the other stressers in our lives pale in comparison to the worries we have with our older daughters.

He will be joining us in therapy next week at the request of their counselor.

One of my daughters has repeatedly brought up the fact that she feels closer to her dad, that she can talk to him, that he listens to her, that he understands her.

What I hear her saying is that she doesn't feel close to me, she can't talk to me, I don't listen to her and I don't understand her.

See what I mean?

What I do understand is that this parenting thing is supposed to be a partnership.

If one kid can talk to one parent more comfortably than another, that shouldn't be that big of a deal, right??

Right.

Then why do I feel so guilty about this revelation?

I guess we'll find out more next week.

In the meantime the Head of My Household encouraged me to keep doing the things that make me happy...and to let go of the things that make me unhappy.

I asked him if that meant I could quit work... :)

He said he didn't care what I did as long as I could continue to pay my share of our bills.

DANG!!

So close!!

All of the worry of this week has my own heart beating faster and heavier than normal.

My own anxiety level is up.

In order to keep my anxiety in check while we help our daughters deal with theirs, I'm going to focus more on the things that make me happy:

Books - not just literary stuff, all kinds of books, I like to read about vampires but I also like to read about other people's lives, information books, cookbooks, etc...you name it, I like it.

Photography - I don't have any designs on becoming a pro...my pictures just make me happy

Cats - especially my own...Beneigt is curled up next to me right now as I type this...ahhhh...just his presence adds a calmness

Coupons - This week I scored 2 - 24 packs of bottled water to put away for hurricane season for right at $1 for each pack thanks to coupons, a well timed sale, and extra bucks earned.  I don't usually like playing games, but I swear I get a rush when I get something for almost nothing.  I can't wait to see the Sunday papers today :)

Water - I love my pool...yesterday I swam laps, I relaxed on my raft and watched the birds and squirrels jump around in the treetops, I swam underwater and just listened to the quiet...

My Garden - the cucumbers are overtaking the squash, and I'm unsure when to pick the peppers, some pesky critter has decided to taste all the green tomatoes in the pots I replanted...but the smell of tomatoes and basil on my hands after I've been outside fiddling makes it all worthwhile.

While there are other things that make me happy, these things are things I do just for me and don't share with anyone else.  I don't think that's selfish...if Moms don't take time for themselves, we can't be all that we have to be for everyone else.

I don't feel guilty about that at all.

We are all damaged...

I'm a Grey's Anatomy fan.

Somewhere along the line Meredith uttered this phrase, the title of this post, and it has stuck with me.

"We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can."



I believe, like Meredith that we are what life makes of us, not passively of course...we certainly have choices and those choices lead us to or from certain experiences.

We start off with a certain amount of innate potential and that combined with our environment and experiences ultimately make us who we eventually become.
No sense in whining about it; get up and keep moving. 

Real life gets complicated pretty quickly...

The Head of My Household and I both have a long history of family members with anxiety, depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, etc.  I mentioned his brother in yesterday's post...he has hit rock bottom and is facing divorce, the loss of his home, his children and his job.
Please continue to pray for him.

We also have had our own personal experiences with anxiety and depression. 
My first full-blown panic attack was two years ago.  I was in San Francisco alone on a business trip, and I literally thought I was going to die.  I sat up all night waiting on my heart to explode from beating so fast and so hard.  I debated for several hours whether or not to have the hotel staff call an ambulance...my anxiety had reached such levels that my body was physically fighting back. 

I don't remember when I first began having symptoms of anxiety that was out of control.  Like everything else, the first signs are subtle...not to mention the fact that stress and anxiety are normal parts of life.  I look back now and realize that I even had signs of postpartum depression after my youngest was born in 2004.  I remember sitting at my desk googling, frantically trying to find an answer for what I was feeling.  A year or so later I read Brooke Shields' book about her own journey through PPD and SOBBED.  She was me.

I fought medication for quite a while, feeling as if it was a cop-out, a sign of weakness, a crutch, etc.  Even after the first panic attack, I think it would have been easier to admit that I had a heart problem rather than an anxiety problem.  Isn't that silly??

Once I gave in, it took a few weeks to adjust to the meds and to get the amount just right, etc.  but I can't tell you how much better I finally felt and still feel...the dosage is such a small amount that it doesn't "fix" anything.  I'm still learning each and every day how to handle stress and anxiety, but the meds certainly help me to keep things more level.  That was almost two years ago.

Given our history and family tree it is not surprising that the Head of My Household and I are now neck deep in helping our older girls deal with some of their own emotional issues.

I'd certainly seen the signs of stress and anxiety in both my older daughters for quite some time.  When you're a parent, you try to keep up with how your kids "deal" with life, change, and things that just don't go their way?  When you yourself have dealt with anxiety or stress that is out of control and you have more family members than not dealing with the same issues, you also become much more sensitive to possible signs in the children you gave birth to. 

A year ago we found out that our oldest was harming herself (cutting with razor blades, push pins, etc).  The first time she cut herself was in the 8th grade; she did not harm herself on a "regular" basis by any stretch of the imagination and she was not trying to kill herself, but she was searching for a way to feel better.  She could deal with the physical pain much better than her emotional pain. 

Because of our family histories, the Head of My Household and I knew we had to get her some help.

Our oldest began seeing counselors and a psychiatrist who specialize in adolescents over a year ago.  This summer we have also found an incredible therapist who is working with us on a weekly basis to "hit it hard during the summer" as she puts it. 

My middle child carved the word "HATE" into her arm the day before we left for Destin.  I'm not exaggerating.  A week later in the therapist's office, you could still see the outline of the word in detail...there were places also where she had dug deeper and made even bigger injuries.  My middle child did this with a needle.
She is now also involved in weekly therapy sessions for the summer.

Because they are both underage, I'm required to take part in at least some of the therapy with them.
I'm not complaining.
Both girls have opted so far to have me in the room with them most of the session.
It's like free therapy for me :)
I am also glad that they trust me and see my presence and our relationship as vital to their healing.

Lest you misunderstand, let me reiterate something.
My home is a happy one.

What??

How can it be happy if you have two children who are cutting themselves to deal with emotional issues?
How can it be happy when you just said that you fight anxiety every day of your life?
How can it be happy when you have more than a few family members who have been or are going through these very same issues?

Here's how I understand it.

Even if no one in your immediate family has addiction issues...
Even if you're not being abused...
Even if you live in a middle class, pretty normal little family with  mom and a dad who love you and each other...
Even if your a regular chuchgoing family...
Even if you have nice clothes...
You can still need help dealing with life.
It's not a death sentence.
It's not anything to be embarrassed about.
If you had Diabetes, you'd treat it.
If you have crippling anxiety, you treat it as well.

My children are happy children...they are learning that they are not "crazy" as much of society would have them think.
They are learning that life is tough and sometimes we have to put on our big girl panties and get through it.  More importantly they are learning to accept themselves for who they are...not someone else's idea or an image in a magazine.

My daughters' issues are not the same, so their therapy is separate from one another; however, as their mother, I attend both sessions each week.  These are my babies and I will do everything in my power to help them get better and learn how to go on with their lives and ENJOY life. 
We are fortunate to be able to devote this much time to our daughters' needs this summer.  I will devote the rest of my life if necessary.  It's just what we mothers do.

I must be honest though, therapy is emotionally exhausting, and I need a space to discuss how I'm handling all this.  I'm choosing my blog to do that.
My daughters are not regular readers of my blog, but they do check in every now and then. 
They know that I will be writing about them, and they approve.
I will not, however, discuss anything here about them specifically that would jeopardize their progress so far or their trust in me.
If our experiences can help one person realize that human psychology is just as important as human physiology, then my work here is done. :)

More soon...