22 Things I Love about My Husband - Happy Anniversary, Ed!

22 years ago I married the most patient and supportive man on the face of the Earth.   

We don't normally spend a lot of money on each other as gifts, etc...I'm not a jewelry person nor do I want flowers, etc. We just don't need a lot of "stuff," and if either of us needs something, we just go get it. 

He is not a regular reader of my blog...I don't think so anyway...but I decided that for our anniversary this year as my gift to him, I would write about him :)

I honestly do not know how my life would have turned out had I not met this man when I did.  While I have always loved him, I am amazed at how much stronger that love becomes each and every year we're together.

We don't have a perfect life by any stretch of the imagination, but it's ours...

22 Things I Love about My Husband

1.  He has a nice chest - We are married, you know...and we have three children so I'm assuming most people would be aware that I've seen his chest, ahem.

2.  He smells good - When he's not home, if I miss him, I just walk into his closet or lay down on his side of the bed...it's not a cologne smell...it's just him.  When we were dating, we lived in two different cities so I used to steal his shirts so I could smell that smell through the week.

3.  He reads - I'm sure I could be happily married to someone who didn't read...but I don't have to wonder.  He likes to sit quietly on our bed and read...the last year or so he has started wearing reading glasses so he looks very distinguished while he reads ;)

4.  He loves me - a friend guessed just yesterday that when I was in high school I was "hell on wheels."  The truth is I really wasn't...but I could and can be difficult and I know it.  He just shakes his head and loves me anyway.

5.  He loves our children - now, I know all fathers are supposed to love their children...but my husband grew up in a house of boys...and then we had 3 daughters.  It is difficult at best to love a wife, two teenage daughters, and a sassy 7 year old daughter day after day after day.  But, he does.

6.  He quietly notices important things - One year he planted gardenias for me at our new house; gardenias are my favorite flower...I even had them in my wedding bouquet.  When we moved from that house, the lady who moved in behind us pulled the gardenias up.  I had to drive by every single day on my way to work and look at that horrible flower bed.  Those were my flowers, they were beautiful and he had given them to me.  It was honestly almost more than I could bear.  After our new house was built, he was working in the yard one day and I noticed him planting something in the front.  Guess what it was?  Just for me.  He never said a word...he just knew I needed my gardenias back.

7.  He is honest - he won't tell anyone something just because he thinks it what they want to hear...if you ask him, he's gonna tell you his opinion.  I'm the same way, so this works well for us :)

8.  He is dependable - If he tells you he'll take care of it, he will. 

9.  He makes me feel safe - It's not a "he'll can beat people up if they try to hurt us" kind of safety; it's deeper than that.  He's smart and prepares for things. 

 

10.  He makes me feel beautiful - When we were dating, he would tell me all the time how beautiful I was...he doesn't "tell" me as much as he used to, but more meaningfully he shows me in quiet ways that he is proud that I am his wife. 

11.  He stands back and lets me do my thing - I've heard a lot of academic folks talk about the struggles that occurred in their marriages when one or the other partner was working on his/her Ph.D.  We simply didn't have that.  He is confident enough in his own skin that he is genuinely proud of any success that comes my way and is willing to more than pull his weight and mine if it's necessary for me to be what I want to be.

12.  He doesn't expect everything to be perfect - Thank goodness...because there's always laundry to be done, dishes in the sink, and supper not on the table "on time."

13.  He doesn't need shiny sparkly things - This works both ways for us as well...we'd rather have things for our house, a pallet of grass, a vacation with our kids.

14.  He loves family - This also is an understatement.  Family is everything.  It's how he grew up and it's how he feels about our little family now.  Our extended families are still an incredibly important part of our lives as well.  He honors and takes care of his own.

15.  He doesn't always understand me, but he tries really hard - I have to bless his heart on this one...because it's probably an understatement.  Once I asked him if I looked fat.  He said, "Uh-uh, I'm not answering that...there is no right answer to that question and I'm not even going to go there." 

Smart move.

16.  He's a good guy - There are some guys in this world who would take advantage of a gal at every possible moment.  Mine was a good guy when we were dating, has been a good guy while we've been married and continues to be a good guy.  Not just to me either...to everybody...he's just solid...I think his mama taught him that...but don't tell her I said that ;)

17.  He likes to be outside - He gets this from his mom also.  He likes to work with his hands...putting plants in, mowing, building me a little brick patio, sitting outside, etc. 

18.  He likes to do his own thing - I think this works for us both too.  Everybody needs their own space. Period.  Everybody needs things they do that just belong to them. Period.  It makes that person a better partner when he/she is a strong individual person.  I think we do this for each other.

19.  He's a music lover - Our house is full of music, guitar, rock bands, flute, piano, singing...all of us girls tend to slow down and quiet down a little when he starts playing his guitar...just so we can listen.

20.  He thought it was fun to have a squirrel running around in our house...and even took videos :) - Yes, we had a squirrel in our house. 

21.  He puts up with my cats who periodically walk around on his head early in the mornings - When I say "puts up with" I mean he doesn't kill them. :)

22.  He fusses...and then he moves on - Sometimes he's just had enough...and he'll say so.  He fusses a good bit about our rescue dog.  He calls her the Hellen Keller dog :/  She sometimes has trouble at night holding her bladder, and for some reason chooses his "man cave" as her potty spot.  Of all places.

Anyway, he'll say, "That's it!! She's got to go!! Don't let her in the house anymore!!!"

And, then he'll just go on...and forget it...till the next time.

Is it any wonder that I love this man??

I am blessed!

Happy Anniversary, Ed...I love you :)

A Washing Machine That Works...The Continuing Saga

The Head of My Household and I are arguing over a washing machine.

:/

Yes, I know.

Quite entertaining, no doubt.

You may or may not recall previous bouts of washing machine drama.

We have lots of drama in this house...even the appliances have drama.

Right now, we both agree that we need a new washer.

Unfortunately that's all we agree on.

HE realized we needed a new washer when HE was searching for towels and underwear. 

HE realized what I've been telling him for months...but only once it affected him personally...in a very personal way.

HE would rather not spend very much money on replacing the washer.

OY!

I have known for months that we needed a new washer.

I DO NOT want the most newfangled washing machine alive on the planet today.

I simply want a washing machine that's big enough and tough enough to handle our family's laundry.

We don't need no fragile washing machines in our house.

No sir!

HE only sees the price tag.

I see the pile of laundry.

HE wants me to agree with him...but HE wants me to think that it was MY decision to agree with HIM.

Good Grief...I'm exasperated just typing this up.

So far, neither of us is budging...and the laundry is piling up.

To be continued...

Happiness

The Head of My Household and I had a conversation about happiness yesterday.

The Head of My Household is not a Chatty Charles so this was quite an accomplishment. 

What's even more of an accomplishment is that I didn't start this conversation :)

The Head of My Household is my friend. 

I am lucky.

He knows me, understands me (as much as any man can understand a woman), and accepts me.

After this past week's therapy sessions with our daughters, I told him I was going to need therapy to work through my issues with their therapy.

I was really kidding...I think.

For both of us all of the other stressers in our lives pale in comparison to the worries we have with our older daughters.

He will be joining us in therapy next week at the request of their counselor.

One of my daughters has repeatedly brought up the fact that she feels closer to her dad, that she can talk to him, that he listens to her, that he understands her.

What I hear her saying is that she doesn't feel close to me, she can't talk to me, I don't listen to her and I don't understand her.

See what I mean?

What I do understand is that this parenting thing is supposed to be a partnership.

If one kid can talk to one parent more comfortably than another, that shouldn't be that big of a deal, right??

Right.

Then why do I feel so guilty about this revelation?

I guess we'll find out more next week.

In the meantime the Head of My Household encouraged me to keep doing the things that make me happy...and to let go of the things that make me unhappy.

I asked him if that meant I could quit work... :)

He said he didn't care what I did as long as I could continue to pay my share of our bills.

DANG!!

So close!!

All of the worry of this week has my own heart beating faster and heavier than normal.

My own anxiety level is up.

In order to keep my anxiety in check while we help our daughters deal with theirs, I'm going to focus more on the things that make me happy:

Books - not just literary stuff, all kinds of books, I like to read about vampires but I also like to read about other people's lives, information books, cookbooks, etc...you name it, I like it.

Photography - I don't have any designs on becoming a pro...my pictures just make me happy

Cats - especially my own...Beneigt is curled up next to me right now as I type this...ahhhh...just his presence adds a calmness

Coupons - This week I scored 2 - 24 packs of bottled water to put away for hurricane season for right at $1 for each pack thanks to coupons, a well timed sale, and extra bucks earned.  I don't usually like playing games, but I swear I get a rush when I get something for almost nothing.  I can't wait to see the Sunday papers today :)

Water - I love my pool...yesterday I swam laps, I relaxed on my raft and watched the birds and squirrels jump around in the treetops, I swam underwater and just listened to the quiet...

My Garden - the cucumbers are overtaking the squash, and I'm unsure when to pick the peppers, some pesky critter has decided to taste all the green tomatoes in the pots I replanted...but the smell of tomatoes and basil on my hands after I've been outside fiddling makes it all worthwhile.

While there are other things that make me happy, these things are things I do just for me and don't share with anyone else.  I don't think that's selfish...if Moms don't take time for themselves, we can't be all that we have to be for everyone else.

I don't feel guilty about that at all.

Boston and The Sox

A story that Melanie at Coupon Goddess told today reminded me of a trip the Head of My Household and I took in May.

We went to Boston and to a Red Sox game.

Please excuse the Chicago sweatshirt I had on. 

In May it is h. o. t. in Mississippi, but not necessarily so on the East Coast.

I was caught off guard; by the time we landed in Chicago, I had to have some sleeves.

Do you ever have those times with your husband when you remember vividly why you married him in the first place? 

This trip was one of those times for me.

We actually had a small group of students with us from our college's Student Government Association and one other adult chaperone.

But, we still enjoyed the trip and the time we spent with each other.

Who knew we actually had a few things in common? :)

I was also reminded this weekend of just how lucky I am.

The Head of My Household's family is still adjusting to life without his dad who passed away in October...so Father's Day was especially emotional.

His mom told me Saturday night just how much she missed his dad.

She said he would know exactly what to do.

Another of her sons is in a lot of pain.

And, could use as many prayers as you can send his way.

As I pray for continued emotional healing for The Head of My Household's brother and the rest of his family, I am also going to say an extra prayer of thanks that I have the husband I do.

A husband who loves me, our family and our children more than anything and spends every waking moment of our life working hard to make sure that all is well.

A husband who accepts me just the way that I am.

A husband who encourages me to be the woman that I am...to exert my independence...as well as enjoy being at home.

I am not sure we were friends when we first married, but I know that we are now.

Thank you, Lord for my many blessings.

SSSSSSSSSummertime Visitors

When the Head of My Household and I moved into our house 5 years ago, we were able to buy a lot in our neighborhood that was a larger lot than most and one of the few lots that was not surrounded by other houses.  Our lot backs up to woods (formerly a horse pasture), and we purposely chose to keep most of the trees around our home.  I hate nothing more than to see a contractor come into an area and completely decimate all the natural plant habitat.  I have never and still to this day do not regret our decision to leave the trees and brush surrounding our home. 

Within sight from our front porch and higher ground in our backyard, we can see the lake that runs the length of our neighborhood. 

We purposely did not buy one of the lots actually ON the lake for a couple of really important reasons.

Reason #1: Price - lake lots are ridiculously expensive.

Reason #2: This frightening fella...

This dude's name is Water Mocassin.

Remember please that I am a Liberal Arts major and will do the very best that I can to explain biological matters with as much accuracy as is possible for me and in words that my book loving self can handle.  Thank you.

The most important thing about this snake is that he bites, and his bite is incredibly poisonous.  According to the Mississippi State University website, one person in Mississippi dies each year from this snake's bite.  However, most of the folks who are injured or killed by venemous snakes have tried in some way to either catch or kill the snake. 

In other words, they've lost their minds.

Water Moccasins are common in Mississippi and they love (as their name implies) semi-aquatic environments (um....like the lake in our neighborhood).

Now, you might as well call me Eve.

Cause I don't like snakes.

Never have...never will.

The Head of My Household, however, is not afraid of snakes.  Now, he's no dummy either...he doesn't try to catch them and he respects their boundaries.  He can, thank goodness, tell the poisonous from the non-poisonous ones.  He doesn't squeal and run when one is sighted in our vicinity.

And, most importantly, he doesn't feel nauseous at the simple idea that snakes are very possibly all around us.

That would be me.

Anyhoo...Water Moccassin dude visited my house Wednesday night. 

Oh

yes.

He

 did.

Uh-Oh and Beneigt took it upon themselves (as they have on several other snake occasions) to keep us safe from the interloper.

Lord, have mercy.

This past Wednesday night my neighbor came in from church and saw our cats chasing and swatting at something near the end of my driveway...of course it's been raining like crazy and the ditches are full of murky water.

Upon closer inspection and the realization of what was happening, my neighbor introduced Mr. Water Moccasin dude to the sharp end of his shovel.

He actually had to bury Mr. Water Moccassin so that Beneigt would leave him alone!!

My youngest grounded the cats from going outside "FOREVER!"

 

We were barely over Mr. Moccassin when Thursday after another pounding rain, my youngest and I were in the yard around the pool.  My youngest had walked over to the garden beds (yes, in her bare feet as most all Missisippi kids do).  I was standing by the diving board watching her.

I happened to look down in the grass maybe 2 feet in front of me and saw this:

I almost vomited right then and there.

This snake was

BETWEEN

me

and

MY

BABY

!!!!!!

I knew if I screamed "SNAKE!!!" that she would run straight for me.

She had already probably stepped right over the snake once unknowingly (Thank you, Lord)...I knew we wouldn't get that lucky again.

I suggested we check the pool skimmers (which she is fond of doing), and she walked diagonally toward the skimmers instead of the direction of the snake.  I took her by the arm and walked her all the way around the pool sidewalk, passing right by the skimmers, and up onto the deck where I could hold myself together no longer and started squealing, "SSSSSNNNNNNAAAAAAKKKKKEEEE!!!!"

My middle child came running to the door to see what in heaven's name was happening.

We stood up on the sides of the deck to see the snake without going anywhere near it.

It wasn't moving.

After several minutes of wondering what the heck was going on with this snake, and trying to find the Head of My Household, my middle child's friend who lives in our neighborhood who likes snakes, and calling my friend Missie who's husband is a biology major, the snake still hadn't moved. 

I began wondering if it was dead.  

My so-called BFF Missie said, "Take a picture of it and send it to me via Blackberry Message."

I told her she'd lost her mind.

I did, however, like a do-do bird, begin to slowly walk toward this snake with my Blackberry.

I stood as close as I could without getting sick and worked on the zoom of my BBerry camera.

My middle child was right behind me.

While I was zooming, Middle Child said, "Mama"

I looked up at Stranger Snake to notice that his upper body looked a little different than it had when we first saw him.

I said, "Did it move?"

Middle Child said, "It definitely looks different than it did a minute ago, Mama"

She barely got the word "Mama" out of her mouth when Stranger Snake sprinted (if snakes had legs) off into the woods like a 3 ft. Sidewinder.

Oh.

My.

Dear.

Lord.

I'm sure that the neighbors on the other side of the neighborhood wondered who was being axed to death at our house.

Together, my middle child, youngest child and I let out the most blood curdling screams you have every heard in your life as we knocked each other over to get into the house.

My baby was standing in the doorway like the smart child that she is...I don't even think she saw the snake slither away...but she decided if her sister and I were screaming, it was probably a good idea if she did too.

Once the Head of My Household came home, he sat us down and we looked through the criminal photo books of snakes to find our culprit.

According to the MSU snake identification website, our Stranger Snake was most likely a Black Masked Racer.  He is not poisonous, and he will even eat other snakes.  However, the website said "he will not hesistate to bite if he feels threatened or cannot flee."

I need to take my heart medicine now.

I do not like snakes...have I already said that??  But, the Head of My Household has taught me that the non-venemous snakes will actually keep the population of venemous snakes down.  We will have to worry less about Copperheads and Water Moccassins as long as there are enough natural enemies to eat them. If you can stand to look back at the snake pictures, notice that the Water Moccassin's head is diamond or triangle shaped while the Racer's head is not.  This is not a foolproof way of distinguishing poisonous snakes from non-poisonous ones, but it's a pretty good start.

You're not going to believe what happened on Friday.

Are you sure you can handle it?

I went to the grocery store and left the Head of My Household weed eating around the pool and my garden beds.  Even though the Stranger Snake was non-poisonous, the Head of My Household decided that we will keep the grass around the pool very short from now on.  At least that way we won't accidently step on anything that might bite us.

Guess what he found around my beloved garden beds?

Go ahead and guess.

Did you guess????

Now, this is a black Speckled KingSnake, and if there is a good snake, this is him.

The biggest snake we've every seen at our house was early early one morning and was a KingSnake.  

The Head of My Household actually played with him.

Oy!

Not with his hands, for heaven's sake...I already told you he's not a dummy!

Seems the Head of My Household disturbed King Snake's shady resting spot by weedeating all the tall thick grasses.  I like to think King Snake was hiding and waiting on the other snakes to try and come back in my yard again...so he could EAT them!! 

It's the only way I can make myself feel better...by making up some narrative with a sinister plot, good guy vs. bad guy.

Today there were no snake adventures at my house.

Thank you, Lord because 3 snakes in 3 days is about all I can handle for now.

I need time.

The girls and I went shopping, just in case.

We left the Head of My Household to wrangle the varmints...

Golf Anyone?

My middle child is a golfer.

She takes after her dad.

I went golfing once.

Back in the day when the Head of My Household and I were very young.

So young that he would actually take me out to the golf course with him.

I thought it was fun at first.

And then he started hurrying me along before I had a chance to hit the ball enough times to actually get it to the hole.

I looked around and noticed that we were backing things up...

er, ahem...I was backing things up.

It was taking me so many strokes to get to the hole that the other golfers were finishing their holes and beginning to form a line waiting for us to move on.

We were playing at the Country Club where my husband grew up playing.

Lots of men.

Friends of his dad.

You get the picture.

The Head of My Household was EMBARRASSED!

OF ME!

When we got to the car, I told him that I really liked golf and wanted to learn to play better.

My young married romantic self wanted to be able to do something my little husband enjoyed so we could spend more time together.

YECH!

Sappy!

The Head of My Household said that he would take me golfing again when I could actually hit the ball 50% of the time.

He has never been the romantic type.

And, I've never been the golfing type.

But, my middle child...

She can whack a golf ball like you've never seen!

She can also look pretty sassy while she's golfing!

Gotta keep things in perspective, you know.

Here's the backside of her famous swing.

Notice that form.

Notice those legs.

Her daddy taught her how to do that.

She has to lug her own bag though.

I don't think she likes that part.

I wouldn't either.

I always enjoyed riding in the covered golf cart.

My father-in-law used to let me ride with him.

At least he wasn't embarrassed.

Here's more of that stance her daddy taught her.

Her mommy taught her about sunglasses and earrings :)

At one point in the tournament my middle child found herself "in the rough."

Notice she decided to switch from her sassy white sunglasses to her real glasses.

Guess she decided it was more imporant to actually see

rather than just look cool.

She recovered though.

And made it to the hold a lot faster than her mommy would have.

That's my girl!